


Talk the Talk

by the_me09



Category: Sherlock Holmes (Downey films)
Genre: Dirty Talk, M/M, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-21
Updated: 2010-03-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9372938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_me09/pseuds/the_me09
Summary: Holmes is trying to solve a case while Watson distracts him.





	

I was awakened quite rudely by Mrs. Hudson waving an urgent telegram in my face. The floor of our sitting room was not as comfortable as the night before, nor as private.

Of course the telegram was from Lestrade; it was concerning a robbery enacted last night and I was needed on the scene that very moment. Lestrade could be overly dramatic at times.

“. . . and you let the poor Doctor sleep. Don’t think I don’t hear you two up at all hours of the night.” Mrs. Hudson admonished me as if I were a child.

“Why Nanny, whatever are you implying?” I opened my eyes wide in feigned innocence hoping the blasted woman would leave me alone.

“You know exactly what I mean. The Doctor needs his rest.” I glared at her until she left.

I dressed quickly with all my usual flair before going upstairs. Watson’s cane was propped against a chair and I couldn’t think of a better way to wake him. I poked him repeatedly with the top of the cane, in his back, stomach, and wonderfully firm buttocks.

“Holmes, it’s far too early for this sort of thing,” he mumbled, trying to roll away from my insistent prodding. Did everyone think I was a dirty-minded sex fiend?

“Nonsense dear fellow, it is the perfect time to investigate a robbery. We are needed by Lestrade.”

I left him to hail a cab, for I knew he would dress quickly and be down soon enough.

Watson arrived downstairs immaculate as always, though obviously perturbed at the early hour. He gave me a disgruntled look as we got in the cab and rattled to the address on Pentonville. Few people were awake; it seemed only the dock workers were stirring.

“It is such a glorious morning, I predict no rain and only the bright sunshine you so adore Watson.” I smiled, trying to lighten his mood, but it seemed we had traded temperaments for I was energized and Watson seemed in a black mood.

The ride passed in silence for I could not figure out what had irked Watson so; therefore I could not hope to fix it.

We disembarked and Lestrade immediately rushed to greet us.

“We can make neither heads nor tails of it, Mr. Holmes. There is not a footprint or a hair pin. It seems as though the jewels have vanished.”

“I need the facts Lestrade, not your superstitions,” I said with a long suffering sigh as Watson and I followed him into the house.

“At one in the morning the Countess retired to her room. Her rubies were stowed in her jewel box on the bureau. She woke to see a figure climbing out the window. A servant was sent for and we arrived on the scene not ten minutes later. It’s been half an hour now.”

I was about to make a caustic reply when someone grabbed my backside. I started and turned to see Watson walking away twirling his cane with a smirk.

I couldn’t fathom what he was thinking.

Ignoring Lestrade, I started my investigation near the window indicated. Watson was standing nearby, though I paid no attention to him; my mind was focused entirely on the task at hand.

“You have a divine arse my dear Holmes.” I sat up so fast I hit my head on the window sill.

“What?” It seemed I could come up with nothing wittier.

Watson merely smiled enigmatically and looked away. If he continued like this my investigation would be severely compromised.

There was the mark of a well manicured finger nail painted a garish red. I began forming conclusions that did not bode well.

“Watson, what do you make of this?” I asked, motioning for him to bend closer.

“I think,” he was close enough that his mustache tickled my ear. “I should like to bend you over this window ledge so everyone on the street below can see your face when you come.”

I stumbled back and fell upon my arse. Lestrade gave me a curious look, but my gaze was riveted on Watson. I felt the heat rise on my cheeks.

“We are surrounded by constables and you insist upon playing this game now?” I hissed, trying to hide my interest with irritation.

“That makes it all the more stimulating.”

“If you wish justice to be served, you will cease and desist.” I tried to sound threatening from my seat on the floor.

“I merely wish to go home so I may enact my most depraved fantasies. Shall I explain what I want to do?” And he leered at me in such a lecherous manner there was no doubt in my mind he would tell me every detail. I was highly disconcerted by this change in Watson’s demeanor.

I made my way to the bureau, steadfastly ignoring how Watson matched me step for step. I only wondered what Lestrade was thinking of this strange dance.

Watson leaned over my shoulder, making it look as though he was observing the bureau with me.

“When we return to Baker Street, I will hardly make it to the sitting room before ravaging your mouth.” He pressed himself to me and I could feel the bulge in his trousers. I couldn’t help the gasp that slipped from my mouth.

“I will rip your clothes off in the most ferocious manner. Your prick will be hard and heavy in my hand as I stroke you. My clothes will be abandoned forthwith and I will spread you on our Tiger skin rug.” At this point he moved away and I was left panting like a bitch in heat. An unexpected turn of events.

I was hard and frustrated, the blood pooling in my groin leaving my head light and empty.

“What do you make of it?” Lestrade’s voice pulled me from my lust filled haze where I could nearly feel the fur of the tiger rug under my hands.

“I do not have enough data to theorize yet,” I snapped. It wasn’t the Inspector’s fault Watson had completely derailed my investigation.

A professional had picked the lock of the jewel box and the thief had so light a tread there was no impression on the thick carpet.

I was lying on my stomach examining the carpet further when I felt Watson position himself next to me.

“There are the lightest of prints here and I wish I had examined the floor before we stomped all over it. A terrible over sight on my part, but I was distracted.” I glared at him and his face was far closer than I had anticipated. I thought if I kept up a stream of observations and deductions he would not be able to speak and distract me. I was very wrong. The moment I took a breath, he pounced.

“This is the position you will be in as I pound into you. It will be hard and rough and you shall scream my name as I hit that spot deep inside you.” his warm breath ghosted over my neck. “Then you will come, hot slow spurts all over my hand while I am still buried in your body.”

I was relieved to be lying on my front, for I was quite sure my arousal would be obvious even to Lestrade’s untrained eyes.

“Watson,” I growled and grabbed him before he could get up and make his escape. His leg slowed him down, giving me an advantage. Something must have happened to make him so obviously try to stake his territory. “Do you know something about this case that I do not?” His face turned a light shade of pink and he sheepishly grinned at me.

“Irene Adler waved goodbye as we were getting out of the cab,” he said, averting his eyes thus hindering my study of his most telling feature.

“What was all this?” I motioned between us, unable to put into words the very filthy thoughts running through my mind. His face colored a bit more and he mumbled something I did not catch.

“Watson,” I leveled the full power of my eyes upon him and watched him squirm under my gaze.

“I thought if you knew she was here you might become obsessed and I didn’t . . . I figured you wouldn’t be able to think of her if I was whispering obscenities in your ear.” He moved dangerously close and I feared what his passions and new-found territorial dominance would reveal to Lestrade.

I jumped up with a grin. The good doctor was often surprised at my rapid mood swings. I offered a hand to help him up.

“Lestrade, I have solved the case, but I fear those rubies will never be seen again.” I was leading Watson outside by the time Lestrade understood my message.

“What . . . how did you . . . who was it then?” He blustered angrily.

“A Miss Irene Adler I believe, but I am quite sure she has left the country by this time. Now if you will excuse us, the doctor is in a bit of a mood and needs to get his rest.” I hailed a cab and paid the man extra for speed.

Watson is a man of his word. I don’t believe a single thought not pertaining to him entered my head for the next several hours.


End file.
